Motherhood is Hard

Ok as you know I’m not one to really get into things on Facebook or such but I saw this article earlier and I can’t get it out of my head. I even took an earlier than usual lunch break so I could share. 

I want to give this poor Mom a hug. Granted I don’t know any more details than what’s presented in this very brief article but I can tell my story. 

Motherhood is hard. Fucking hard. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done and I’m just a little over 3 months in. I’m even doing this with a husband and an amazing family with an amazing support network and it’s still hard. This girl was going at it solo. 

Those first few weeks and months for me were and are so hard. Your entire life has changed, you hurt, you’re not sleeping, you have no alone time, there is crying and bottles and laundry and it’s all just so damn much. 

Having organizations available to help are good but it’s hard to reach out and admit you need help. You’re a Mom and you’ve had 9 months to prepare and there is some unwritten expectation that you should just instinctively know what the hell you’re doing. Asking for help is hard because it feels like a failure as a woman especially when it’s so early in the journey because then you just feel like you’re going to fail as a Mom too and everything starts to spiral. 

As someone who struggles with pretty serious anxiety and baseline depression issues I knew going into labor and delivery that I was going to need help and medication onboard in order to make it through postpartum. 

In fact when I was in the hospital after giving birth I asked damn near every nurse if they followed up with my psych consult. I was insistent that I get that appointment before I went home. I was put on medication that day and I’m so grateful I did. I find even now that if I forget to take it or take it too late in the day I struggle to even get off the couch that day and that’s not an option when you have a baby. 

It seems that once Mom’s have the baby, all of the attention shifts to the baby and Mom is then an afterthought. Hormones can straight up wreck you, no joke. 

More times than I would like to admit I’ve been in this Mom’s shoes - sad, tired, need help but I had wine. 

Thank God I had people offer to help and if I needed anything to call or message them anytime. Sometimes you just need another living breathing human being to talk to and maybe even someone else to hold the baby for a few hours and not judge you if you spontaneously bust into tears because it happens. 

Like I said, organizations are great and I’m glad they offer support but Mom’s need people, friends, neighbors, hands to help hold the baby or fold laundry. 

Do you have any new Moms and Dads in your world? Reach out to them. Offer them some of your time and conversation. It can be a lifesaver trust me. 

Are you a new Mom or maybe a Mom with some experience? Do you have a circle, people you can call when you need help? 

If not, let me know. I don’t have much to offer but I’ve got a comfy couch and a lot of coffee. 

Be loved friends. We’re all in this together and we’re not going to make it to the end without looking out for each other. ❤️ 

** Edited to Add: Just to make sure everyone knows, this is not a cry for help. I am ok. I have a support system, people, docs and medication on my side. Not everyone is so lucky. Reach out. Message me directly. Do what you need to do, hell I dyed my hair pink and blue and it helped. ❤️